Patricio Suárez Vértiz - VH1 Antes y Después

... arroz con pato

seco de cabrito

Algunos lectores anónimos de este humilde espacio ex masturbatorio me han hecho llegar recientemente unos comentarios un poco subidos de tono recriminándome de manera airada por un supuesto "tufillo homofóbico" que, según afirman, han detectado en varios de mis posts. No voy a contestar los insultos, pues no es mi estilo enfrascarme en aburridas e inútiles discusiones virtuales. Sólo me referiré a la imputación de homofobia, la cual pienso se trata más bien de un pequeño error de apreciación por parte de estas personas. Si estuvieran ellos en lo cierto, este cochino blog no tendría ni por broma el ambiguo título de "Doctor Monique", ni personalmente recibiría yo con humor y condescendencia los numerosos comentarios en los que se me tilda de maricón, mucho menos trataría con el debido respeto y consideración a figuras de la talla de Jimmy Santi, Naamín Timoyco, Jaime Bayly, Alex Otiniano, Juan Carlos Ferrando, Bruno Ascenzo, Brunito Pinasco, Paco Ferrer, entre otros reconocidos personajes del ambiente gay lorcho. Aprovecho el tema para dejar en claro que, separando por completo el asunto de su orientación sexual, el único homosexual merecedor de nuestro entero desprecio, repudio y rechazo es el pseudocómico Carlos Alvarez, una pobre sanguijuela exageradamente sobrevalorada (muchos han tenido el atrevimiento de llamarlo "genio") a quien nos hemos referido antes en justos y cabales términos (entre ellos rosquete, cacanero y cobarde mostacero), razón de la incomprensible indignación epistolar de estos consternados sujetos. Los motivos de este encono los detallaremos muy pronto en un afectuoso post en donde le haremos recordar al imitador de cuarta su servil, vergonzoso y rastrero pasado fujimontesinista. Pero en fin, esa es otra historia y no viene al caso ahondar más en ello, al menos por ahora.

Como muestra de mi buena fe, dedico el presente post a un exponente de vuestro respetable gremio. Al mejor estilo del segmento "Antes y Después" del canal musical VH1, les traigo un especial de Patricio Suárez-Vértiz que espero sea de su entero agrado. Sin otro particular y deseándoles el mayor de los éxitos, se despide atentamente de ustedes,
El Doctor Monique.

Antes. Año 1996. Patricio Suárez-Vertiz y Sra. cantando "Disco Bar", megaéxito de 1995 que traspasó los muros del Splash, del Perseo y del decadente Swing de Petit Thouars para colarse en el no menos trajinado set de Trampolín a la Fama, haciendo bailar contra todo pronóstico al mismísimo negro Ferrando cuando restaban apenas 3 escasas semanas para el memorable final del Trampolín. No se pierdan este momento kitsch de colección.


Patricio Suárez Vértiz y esposa - "Disco Bar" en Trampolín a la Fama (abril 1996)

Después. Año 2008. No existe mejor demostración de testosterona que imitar a Mick Jagger. Luckyou es la banda que por estos días un autodenominado "Pat" lidera en Miami, una suerte de hija mongólica y contrahecha de los Stones. Con ustedes, un Patricio Suárez-Vértiz más viejo, más guatón, más pelucón, más amanerado y, por qué no decirlo, más pato. Chúpate esa.


"Pat" y su banda Luckyou en fallida imitación de los Stones (agosto 2008)


PS1: Que cague de la risa, el batero no solo se parece sino que es igualito al huevón de "Cevichito" Bertini.
PS2: No, ese que sale en la foto de allá arriba no soy yo.

Links de Interés:
  • Luckyou - MySpace


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    Video de Keyra Agustina: El Culo de RBC Canal 11

    ... diosa de fantasías masturbatorias




    Keyra Agustina - Flesh for Fantasy

    Keyra AgustinaAtención lectores pajeros. La argentina Keyra Agustina, célebre en el 2005 por colgar en la red 300 fotografías de su rico cucú (culito hambriento, carnosón, bien paradito y respingón), será el reemplazo de la colombiana Luz Marina Ceballos en el exitoso programa "La Noche del 11" de RBC. Y es que todo parece indicar que la popular Lucecita estaría a punto de dejar el cuartel de Belmont para pasar a integrar las filas de Panamericana Televisión (la verdad no veo gran diferencia en esta jugada, los dos canales, aparte de ser una mierda, tienen una programación de mierda, salvo, claro está, contadas excepciones como el programa de mi chochera el Pelao Cabeza de Pinga, La Movida de Janet Barboza y el predicador brasuca de la medianoche). Contrariamente a la opinión de muchos (ver próximo post dedicado al rey de la mermelada Eddie Fleischman), la reciente suspensión -y próxima desafiliación- del Perú por parte de la FIFA no será impedimento para el arribo de nuevos parrilleros al showbiz cholo. La sexy gaucha ya fue vista en los pasillos del canal del hermanón y en breve será presentada oficialmente para hacerle la corte a los clásicos parrilleros de siempre: la Pepa Baldessari, Paula Marijuan (ver post Video erótico de Paula Marijuán en Latin Lover), el negro Galván, el "Checho" Ibarra (Shevchecho), Osiris Pombo y/o Belén Estévez, los hermanos Guille, Christian Suárez (o "Zuárez", según él, porque el puta ni siquiera sabe cómo escribir su apellido), el tío Giacosa, Cattone, papelito Cácerez (gaucho bamba), entre otras mierdas... en otras palabras, va a estar rodeada de puro maricón.
    Retomando el caso de la colocha Lucecita, su esposo y representante Ronny Ríos (¿representante?, ahora resulta que este huevón vive a costa de las piernas de su mujer) ha afirmado con concha y pana que la colombiana no se siente contenta en RBC. "Lucecita está para grandes cosas y ahora el 11 le queda chico, en mi opinión que allí se quede Joselito nomás (uy xuxa). El día viernes tendremos una reunión con la gerencia y pondremos los puntos sobre las íes. El problema es la falta de presupuesto en la empresa, es casi un hecho que no accederán a nuestras pretenciones económicas, así que evaluaremos otras propuestas más jugosas. Lucecita saldrá esta semana por la puerta grande, no por la ventana", declaró Ronny, quien dijo no estar enterado del nuevo fichaje. "¿Han contratado a una nueva conductora para La Noche del 11? ¿Quién es esa tal Keyra Agustina? No la conozco, luego de Osiris Pombo ahora estas gauchas vienen por móntón. Yo te aseguro que será un pésimo negocio para RBC dejar ir a Lucecita, ni siquiera cien de esas chicas podrán igualarla".
    Ya que lo pide, para el tío Ronny va esta información. Keyra Agustina es una argentina que tuvo el buen tino de colgar en la web SuperTangas unas fotos suyas en "hilo dental" y tanguita. Dichas imágenes causaron sensación no solo en su país de origen sino en el mundo entero (dieron la vuelta al globo en cadenas de email). Recibió, con mucha justicia, el apelativo de "la chica del pompis del millón". Tiempo después colgó un video en YouTube, consiguiendo un éxito arrollador. Keyra tiene ahora 25 años, vive en Buenos Aires y es Licenciada en Sistemas de la Universidad de Morón. Y a diferencia de Lucecita, a esta sí le hago el beso negro.
    Como quien no quiere la cosa, el tan despreciable RBC se está convirtiendo en mi canal favorito: el Pelao Ganoza, la Tribuna de Alfredo, La Noche del 11, el Angel del Deporte... Sí pues, me has cagao bien feo la vida, cochino Operativo Duna.


    Keyra Agustina mostrando su mejor cara
    - Video RECOMENDADO por el Doctor Monique -

    No queda más que reconocer que ese hermanón es un tremendo pendejo. Despidió a todo el staff del noticiero solo para contratar más carne para el pueblo. Pero no carne de equino del mercado de Surquillo y La Parada como canal 13 (habla Kathy Villalobos), sino carne gaucha, sabroso lomo fino de res. "Grade A top choice meat". Jugada maestra. Mis respetos, colorao conchatumadre.

    + Post dedicado a la memoria de El Blog de Cayo, atípico caso de blog peruano inteligente, divertido, bien escrito y sin afanes de figuración.
    Esperamos pronta resurrección.

    Entradas relacionadas:
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  • El culo de Tara Reid

  • Doctor Monique se une a la campaña Adopta un Congresista

  • video fotos keyra+agustina culo noche+del+11 rbc pompis+del+millon argentina lucecita

    I am ready to get a ‘rakhi’ tied from Diana : Ashutosh Kaushik

    Ashutosh has been declared the winner of Bigg Boss 2. The results were given out by none other than the ‘Khiladiyo ka Khiladi’, Akshay Kumar.

    The lattmar guy speaks to us about everything, from his girlfriend Sonel, to suspicius relationship with Diana and his urgency to win the Bigg Boss show. We got into a candid chat with the man himself.

    “It feels great to win a reality show, especially if it is Bigg Boss. This is my second win in a row, MTV Roadies 5.0 and now Bigg Boss 2”, says Ashu as he is called by fellow mates. 1 Crore is a big amount, so what next?

    “I really needed the money badly. The amount is very huge. I needed the cash for my personal means”.

    We asked him what will he do now after leaving the Bigg Boss house?

    “First of all, I will convenience my girlfriend, Sonel (of MTV Roadies 5.0). She wants to break off with me. I am ready to get a ‘rakhi’ tied from Diana. There was nothing between us.

    I never knew the media would exaggerate the situation so much. Diana is a good friend of mine. But if people still have second thoughts about it I am ready to get a ‘rakhi’ tied from her”.

    So now that he has won two reality shows in a row, is he open for other reality shows as well?

    “Certainly, why not. I am ready for any reality show now. Be it dancing on the stage, or again an adventurous one, I am open to all. The very thought of winning two reality shows has given me enough confidence level for the third or the forth one. In fact I am open to films also. I don’t mind acting in any movie be it a big or a small role”.

    Coming back to Bigg Boss, whom does he admire the most amongst his entire house mate?

    “He is the one and only Rahul Bhaiya. He has given me the will power to stand till the end. I owe him big time”.

    For Gossips And Mirch Masala Log On To Bollywood Paradize

    The confessions of a Bikini girl Neha Dhupia

    Neha Dhupia was dubbed as the bikini girl when she hit the silver screen with 'Qayamat' some five years ago. A slew of sleazy films of the 'Julie' and 'Sheesha' kinds followed. And Neha ended up being tagged as a wannabe sex symbol.

    But now the actress has shifted to serious cinema and is enjoying it like anything. But she doesn't mind the fact that her glam quotient has come down.

    She's been saying, "Maybe, but the satisfaction is immense, and the contentment I derive from my work today is multifold. Being a part of simple, beautiful films like 'Mithya', 'Maharathi', 'Dasvidaniya' and working with the likes of Vinay Pathak, Rajat Kapoor, Naseeruddin Shah, Om Puri, Paresh Rawal... has given me more than money ever could. They're stalwarts and they do no wrong!"

    But she's a bit bitter about many so called docile B-Town girls going for sexy makeovers.

    She's said, "Now those hypocritical, double-standard people are wearing bikinis themselves. And those who reprimanded me are applauding them like there's no tomorrow! But you know what? I don't think wearing a two-piece is cool anymore. I've been there, done that years ago!"

    She's totally okay with her current status.

    She's said, "I've dabbled with 'commercial films' at the beginning of my career. But priorities change over time.

    Yes, I could've made obnoxious amount of money – much more than I'm making today – by taking up more commercially viable projects. But what am I going to do with so much money? I'm earning enough, and I'm living a more than comfortable life."

    She's added, "And if I'm working with Nasseer and Paresh, I've also worked with the Akshay Kumars, Ajay Devgans and Emraan Hashmis."

    This one seems to be a content babe as of now. Let's see what the future holds for her!

    For Gossips And Mirch Masala Log On To Bollywood Paradize

    Pelao Cabeza de Pinga y Melcochita - La Escuelita de la Estupidez (video de colección)

    ... juntos son dinamita

    Melcochita y el Pelao Cabeza de Pinga, el inesperado choque de dos grandes de la comicidad peruana. Un sueño hecho realidad. Como no podía ser de otra manera, Melcocha se despacha a su gusto y le mete tres chiquitas al pelón (las tres en menos de 1 minuto, marcando así un nuevo record nacional), todo en el marco de una singular parodia del programa japonés "Gaki no Tsukai", en donde el que se rie recibe macana y chocolate, fina cortesía de Damian y el Toyo. Banda invitada: "Complot" (liderada por el vagal Christian Suárez), rebautizada ahora como "New Complot", flanqueando a un descarrilado Gato Ganoza quien termina siendo la gran sorpresa de la noche al revelarse como todo un figuretti en ciernes. Solo faltaron Tongo y Jimmy Santi para cerrar la chingana, en mi opinión los grandes ausentes de la velada. A estas alturas ya nada me sorprende de la inconsecuente farándula chicha, hasta el inquisidor #1 de la TV basura se presta para la cochinada y baja al llano con tal de figuretear un rato.
    Momento kitsch de colección: el pelón se pone en cuatro (2 veces) para que una chuchumeca tetona le de duro y parejo por troya (Melcocha dixit). Qué dirán ahora las viejas ayayeras que llaman a "El Tribunal" para chuparle la pinga al pelón justiciero, el autoproclamado adalid de la sana y sagrada televisión blanca. Carajo, ¡viva la televisión basura! Y vivan los blogs basura, también. Pelao, a mí nunca me engañaste con tu monserga barata. Yo sabía que eras de los nuestros.

    Luego del rotundo éxito de mi video Pelao Cabeza de Pinga: 10 insultos en El Tribunal de la Tele (40,000 visitas, 400 comentarios, y contando), objeto de culto en YouTube y principal referente del pelón en el ciberespacio (enlazado hasta por Carlín), les traigo un sabroso entremés protagonizado por nuestro querido Pelao Cabeza de Pinga y el genial Melcochita, una cortita para el sano esparcimiento del público asiduo a estas desprestigiadas páginas pajeras, mientras les vamos preparando con mucho cariño la siguiente recopilación de puteadas al pelón (muy pronto: El Pelao 2.0, no se la pierdan).
    Sin más preámbulo les presentamos la última del gato, esta vez ya no en su modesto set de El Tribunal de la Tele, sino en un remodelado salón de clases del Alfonso Ugarte, lugar en donde el popular conductor rememora, una vez más, dulces y tiernas épocas escolares.


    Duelo de Titanes: Melcochita y el Pelao Cabeza de Pinga
    - VIDEO EXCLUSIVO DE CRONICAS DE LA FARANDULA KITSCH -


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    India's Sexiest Dad Arjun Rampal

    2008 has been a great year for Arjun Rampal. He's had two hits this year and he will be rubbing shoulders with Holly-wood stars, Robert Di Niro, Charlize Theron, Denzel Washington and Oprah Winfrey at the launch party of the Atlantis, The Palm hotel in Dubai on November 20. The cherry on the cake? He has snapped up the title of India's Sexiest Dad by Ok! magazine, from right under the nose of Hrithik Roshan. Over to the sexy daddy…

    How does it feel to win the title of India's Sexiest Dad?
    It feels great! If people think I am that, then I would like to thank them.

    Do you feel old?
    I am still young (laughs) so I don't feel old on being called India's Sexiest Dad. It makes it more special. My daughters are too young to understand what sexy means. When my wife showed the Ok! magazine to Mahikaa, her hands went up to her mouth and she looked at me strangely. She associated it with sex! I cracked up laughing because at that point you realise that sexy is a much-exploited term.

    Do you think you deserve this title?
    Of course, I deserve this title!

    Who do you feel is the sexiest dad in the world?
    Well, I don't look at men (laughs again) so I would have to choose a sexy mom. The world's sexiest mom according to me is my wife, Mehr.

    A basic requisite of being a good dad.
    Giving unconditional love. I always make it a point to take out time for our daughters, Mahikaa and Myra. Every summer, I take two months off so I can travel with them. I don't take on work at the time.

    Are you an indulgent or strict dad?
    I spoil them and indulge their every whim. Mehr is not strict but she's the disciplinary factor in their lives. She sets the routine, which is very important. Yet we both are friends with them. We want our children to be open and not hide anything from us.

    What's your first, most special memory of Mahikaa?

    Mahikaa must have been the youngest baby to travel and get double passports. She was three months old when I was traveling for my world tour with Hrithik. Mahikaa was this fat pumpkin when we were in Orlando in the middle of a hailstorm. Hrithik, Sussanne and I were running to protect Mehr and Mahikaa from the hail and had wrap-ped a big sheet around them. When we reached the hotel, we thought Mahikaa would be very nervous but in all that chaos, she fell fast asleep!

    One value that you have instilled in your children.
    To be real and honest. I don't want them to be pretentious.

    Their favourite star?
    I am their favourite star. They watch all my films, love them and know all my songs.
    For Gossips And Mirch Masala Log On To Bollywood Paradize

    Live in Style- Celina Jaitely

    Celina Jaitley is very particular about the things she wears and likes to be a picture of elegance wherever she goes. Whether it is the handbag she carries or the watch she wears she loves to make a style statement.

    She loves to talk about her jewellery, her clothes or her wide range of stylish footwear. She informed us that she almost has a thousand pairs of shoes, boots and slippers and that she is obsessed with them.

    She says she likes to dress up according to the occasion and loves to be in style but ultimately everything depends on her state of mind.

    She said that even though she loves to follow fashion trends but she always sees to it that whatever she wears suits her.

    When she is at home she wears jeans and T-shirts she also wears sneakers and jeans. Most of the time she likes to experiment with her looks.

    According to her the Indian saree is the most sexiest outfit, and she also has a stunning collection of French Chantilly lace sarees and chiffon sarees.

    She thanks her profession coz it has given her the opportunity to travel across the world and therefore she is updated on the latest trends of fashion. She regrets not being able to wear boots and jackets during winter so to wear them she makes it sure that she goes to a hill station or her home.

    Goa being one of her favorite locations it is said that the actress has bought herself a cozy house there. Whenever she wants to be away from the hustle bustle of the city she goes there an relaxes.

    She loves to have Goan and Thai cuisine. whenever she goes to Goa she calls her friends over to her place so that they can have barbeques in the garden.

    Not many know that Celina is a complete foodie and loves to try out the local spicy food of Goa.

    For Gossips And Mirch Masala Log On To Bollywood Paradize

    Salman's loss is Bipasha's gain... in crores

    News everywhere was that Salman would be performing on the 31st night at Sahara star.

    It is said that Sahara had approached Salman to perform for the New Year's Eve and Salman agreed on a price of Rs.3 crores. Arbaaz, Sohail and Malaika would also be performing with him.

    According to sources the latest that is heard that Salman is out of this and Bipasha has been asked to perform in his place for the New Years Eve. It is said that the sponsors could not afford Salman's price.

    Inspite of having several discussions with Salman for the last ten days over the price Salman did not agree to compromise on his price.

    Actually it is said that the sponsors had made a deal of Rs. 3.5 crores with the organisers, therefore they had agreed to pay Salman the said amount but after lots of talks they finally agreed to pay Salman the price of Rs 2 crores on which Salman refused flatly.

    Whether brothers Arbaaz, Sohail and Malaika would still perform or not is unknown.

    In all is it is said that Bipasha has been convinced to perform with a price of 1 crore, whereas last year she had performed at J.W.Mariott for just Rs. 90 lakhs for a 30 minute performance.

    For Gossips And Mirch Masala Log On To Bollywood Paradize

    Mallika joins ranks with Hayek



    She may keep a low profile here, but Mallika Sherawat is creating waves
    abroad.

    The diva is a recipient of the US-based Multicultural Motion Picture Association’s Diversity Awards and is flying to attend a star-studded gala dinner this Sunday in California.

    Mallika, who will be presented the 2008 Renaissance Artist Award — given to artists of diverse creative talents worldwide, will join other international celebs from the film and television industry at the Universal Studios’ Global Theatre for the presentation ceremony.
    The citation behind the award states it is bestowed for the recipients’ “distinctive on-screen persona that is uniquely their own and allows their character depictions to bring audiences from laughter to tears”.

    A surprised Mallika told BT, “I thought it was a hoax! But then I said stranger things than an Indian actress getting an award in Hollywood have happened... like a handsome black man in the White House!”

    Past recipients of the award include top Hollywood actresses like Salma Hayek, Halle Berry, and Monica Belluci. Mallika said modestly, “I’m certainly not in their league yet, but hopefully in ten years — when I’ve worked as long as they have, I’ll have a body of work that’s as good.”

    Meanwhile, after The Myth with Jackie Chan, the actress is doing Hiss for Hollywood with Jennifer Lynch and Robert Kurtzman. “It’s going to shock the hell out of you, but you will be entertained,” Mallika promised.
    For Gossips And Mirch Masala Log On To Bollywood Paradize

    I was betrayed: Eesha Koppikhar

    Eesha Koppikhar is a firm believer in destiny and can be found muttering "Karmanyeva adhikarasya Ma faleshu Kadaachana" when questioned about the lack of successful films in the recent past.

    "I love working in front of the camera and am passionate about the art. I don't think too much about what would happen next; least of all box office collections.

    Recently when 'Hello' became a success and people started rattling down it's collections, I excused myself. I don't understand the business aspect of thinks and have no inclination to do so in future too.

    I want my films to do well but can't have my life being dominated by them", says Eesha Koppikhar who just saw the release of 'Ek Vivaah Aisa Bhi'.

    Such statements coming from her are surprising though, especially when she showed a lot of promise in last couple of years when she was seen in biggies like 'Don - The Chase Begins Again', 'Salaam E Ishq' and '36 China Town'.

    "Honestly, there is nothing that I can rave about in the films you mention", Eesha says in a matter of fact tone, "Quite frankly they didn't help me much.

    I guess things seemed to be finally picking up for better after 'Kya Kool Hai Hum', which was a mega success and brought me some good reviews as well. However, the person looking after my work wasn't aggressive enough to help me capitalize on the film's success. But as I said, it's destiny."

    Solo lead in 'Ek Vivaah Aisa Bhi', a change in image and some good reviews coming her way would have come as an icing on the cake, isn't it?

    "Of course yes", says Eesha without blinking an eyelid, "To be honest I was expecting good reviews from 'Ek Vivaah Aisa Bhi' since Barjatyas have their own loyal set of audience.

    This is the set of audience which always have a certain expectation from a Rajshri heroine and I had to be conscious about the fact that I do not disappoint them as well as the makers of the film. Now with good reviews coming the film's way, I am relieved.

    I am sure the film, though released at a select number of prints, would continue to find an audience over a period of time."

    For Gossips And Mirch Masala Log On To Bollywood Paradize

    Hrithik Roshan's emotional outburst

    It was a hugely emotional experience for Hrithik Roshan on Sunday evening (November 16) when he inaugurated the Audio and Speech therapy wing at the Nanavati Hospital.

    There Hrithik met his old doctor, Ramesh Ojha who treated Hrithik for his speech impairment.

    In a rare recollection of his traumatic childhood Hrithik says, " All the memory of my past difficulties came spilling out at Nanavati. When I met my doctor who treated me at age 14 for stammering I could barely control my emotions.

    It's not easy to be a special child. You may be called 'special' to make you feel less troubled about your disability. But only a child who goes through the physical or psychological disability knows the trauma he goes through."

    Sharing his own trauma at Nanavati was a cathartic experience. "As someone who has a certain standing I feel it's my duty to tell kids with disabilities to chill. 'It's okay, guys. I got over it. So will you.' I think it's very important for me to convey this message far and wide and I want to do it more often."

    "When I stood there at Nanavati thinking of all those kids who would benefit by the facilities provided by my money I felt very good about myself. It's all very well to look after your own immediate family and care for friends.

    But I believe money should also be used for the larger good. That's what I realized on Sunday evening. I feel charity is a very selfish thing. I feel so good after doing it.

    I'm sure those who will benefit from my donation wouldn't feel as good about life as I do, " laughed Hrithik pleasurably on the morning after the Nanavati wing for audio and speech disorders was incepted.

    Hrithik donated Rs 20 lakhs for the wing for special children. The wing has been named after his grandmother Ira Roshan, the late composer Roshan's wife, and Rajesh and Rajesh Roshan's mom.

    Says Hrithik emotionally, "I shared some great times with my Daadi during my childhood and growing years. Today seeing my name and hers being associated with such a project, she must be smiling down."

    For Gossips And Mirch Masala Log On To Bollywood Paradize

    Bebo crashes!

    An overworked Kareena finally laid lowKareena Kapoor might not make it for Golmaal Returns' success party tonight at Vie Lounge in Juhu. She's down with a raging fever and a throat infection.

    On Sunday night, Kareena attended an event at Parel and collapsed after coming home. Says Bebo, "I am in awful shape right now. I am burning with a 101°C fever. I have a throat infection. After attending the event on Sunday, things became so bad that I collapsed after coming home. I was in such terrible shape that my mom had to call in the doctor. He's giving me injections so that I can at least stand on my feet."

    Says Kareena. "I think my collapse has been caused by overwork and exhaustion. I have been working non-stop for the last 6 months round the clock. Even if I get half a day off, I am shooting for some ad or the other. I can't talk. I had to cancel Sajid Nadiadwala's (Kambakht Ishq) shoot yesterday. My body is acting up as I have constantly been working 20 hours a day. When mom heard I was going for the shoot yesterday, she forbade me from doing so. She's horrified and has been scream- ing at Zayed (Bebo's secretary) and me to stop over-stressing myself."

    Will Kareena attend tonight's success party? "Not as of now. It all depends on my health. I am shooting for Kambakht Ishq at Afghan Church tomorrow but I haven't told mom as yet about it. If I tell her, she will scold me again. In fact we were to shoot an underwater sequ-ence at Film City, which will now have to shot later as I can't shoot underwater now."

    Kareena says she's shooting so much that she doesn't have a break at all now. "I will have to go straight from my shoot to the airport for Karan's (Johar) film in USA on November 23. Saif is also there but I think we will take a break for a week in mid-December. I will come home for Christmas and New Year's Eve. I had been offered lots of money to perform for New Year's Eve but I have refused them as I think it's tacky."
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    Sush will celebrate her birthday in Goa



    Sushmita is turning 33 today. She talks about men, marriages and movies.

    Actress Sushmita Sen, who will celebrate her 33rd birthday in Goa on Wednesday, says she isn’t looking for romance. Despite having a string of affairs behind her, she also says she doesn’t dump men.

    “Let's just say I’m single and ready to mingle... does that sound too trite? I’m beyond that stage where I have to party and be with 500 people to feel special. Every moment is special and I need no endorsement for it from the outside. Just being with the people who really matter to me is celebration enough,” said Sushmita.

    But why does she get tired of all her relationships? “You mean, do I dump the men? That’s not true. Initially, everything is hunky-dory in a relationship. Then there has to be some dori (thread) to hold the hunky guy in the relationship. If not, then move on.”
    Talking about marriage, she says, “Marriage hasn't happened. It will happen when it happens. What guarantee is there that after getting into marriage and after 20 years of togetherness, I won’t discover it was the wrong move for me?”
    Right now she is in Goa with her birthday entourage, which consists of 17 very close family members and friends, including, of course, daughter Renee who at the moment occupies centre stage in Sushmita's life.

    Sushmita saw Madhur Bhandarkar’s Fashion and fell for it. “I’d say some of it is definitely authentic. I’ve been a part of that world. And I know it’s not easy to maintain your equilibrium. What really blew my mind were the performances of Priyanka Chopra, Kangana Ranaut and the new girl (Mugdha Godse). This is one film I’d have liked to be part of.”

    Talk veers towards Dev Anand, who turned 84 recently. “I’m inspired by his zest for life. And more than that, his dignity. He deserves all the adulation. He is extremely charming. I don’t know whether I’ll live that long. But if I do, I want to be as charming as Dev saab . But it’s
    impossible for me to go on that long. I’m on fast-burn all the time. As long as I live my life to the hilt, I'm fine.” The actress is currently busy with Rani Laxmibai which is being produced by her production house Tantra Productions.
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    See Kareena Kapoor in a bikini again!!

    Kareena fans will get to see the zero size actress once again displaying her perfect 10 figure She will be seen wearing a bikini for an underwater scene in her next movie Kambhaqt Ishq.The schedule of the film is supposed to be held in Mumbai in January.

    Designer Akki Narula is said to be designing the bikini Kareena will be wearing and says that he has always loved to work with Kareena. He has stated that her looks in this film are going to be memorable as in Tashan where in the only saving grace of that film was her size zero body.

    Akshay Kumar is also said to be there in the film and all his outfits are designed by Sabina Khan.

    He will be sporting a rough look in this film as he is playing the character of a stuntman he is also seen to be wearing shorts for a sequence. Kareena is playing an international model in the film and per the requirement of the script she wears a bikini in the film.

    All the sets in the film are being designed to show its high end look, it is said that the bikini scene is meant to be shot in Venice where Akshay is supposed to be romancing Kareena. He will be romancing her there while a Venetian landscape will be given here to make it look authentic.

    The entire shoot will last for a week and will finish with Hollywood's all time great actor Sylvester Stallone who will be making his first Bollywood appearance by doing a cameo role.

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    Sorry Bhai! - Music Review


    First things first, if Bas Ek Pal was the calling card of Mithoon who shot to limelight with 'Tere Bin' then watch out for Gaurav Dayal.

    He may well see good things happening for him in months to come if Sorry Bhai is any indication. The songs bear a certain quality to them and bring with them the kind of sound that spells quality.

    Let's play them on to see how Gaurav has come together with lyricist Amitabh Varma to promise another successful soundtrack.

    K.K. spells quality and it is 100% guaranteed the moment he opens 'Mere Khuda' in a full throated manner. Soft rock has been the genre where K.K. has never failed in and 'Mere Khuda' is no exception.

    A brilliant track that has some never-heard-before lyrics by Amitabh, 'Mere Khuda' is a number which could well be the 'Tere Bin' moment of Sorry Bhai.

    Of course, in the recent past Pritam has come up with a dozen odd numbers belonging to this genre but play on 'Mere Khuda' once and rest assured you would be hooked for hours at stretch.

    A number like this deserves to be heard in it's remix format and 'Mere Khuda' isn't any exception. Opening with the sound of guitar, it never once goes overboard and comes with just the right sound to be played in pubs and clubs. A chartbuster in the making.

    A romantic ballad follows next in the form of 'Pal' which has an urban contemporary feel to it and belongs to the pop genre. Sung in a soft and cool mood by Sunidhi Chauhan and newcomer Chayan Adhikari (who is just 21), 'Pal' is the kind of number that you wish was played in the background as you had a candle light rendezvous with your loved one.

    'Pal' may not be the kind of number that you may take to the streets but put it on in a repeat mode with the lights switched off and be rest assured that a feeling of romance would be rekindled.

    Now this is hardly a number that you want to be re-orchestrated but that exactly happens once it also falls pray to the 'remix version'. It is not bad but one wishes that the album just saw the original version being retained!

    Guest composer Vivek Phillip makes a contribution with the title song 'Sorry Bhai' for which he also writes the English lyrics.

    Strangely, the first thing that comes to mind on hearing 'Sorry Bhai' is the presence of Sanjay Suri in the film. Pyaar Mein Kabhi Kabhi, Jhankaar Beats, Bas Ek Pal - Somehow Sanjay's presence in each of these three films can be associated with the sound that the number 'Sorry Bhai' carries.

    Another similarity is resemblance to the kind of sound that such soft compositions by Vishal-Shekhar carry. A promotional track which goes with the theme of the film and is sung by K.K., Sunidhi Chauhan and Abhishek Nailwal, 'Sorry Bhai' brings with it a feel good factor that should keep the smiles on.

    After 'Mere Khuda', the number which impresses most is 'Jalte Hain'. In the process it also explains how same song could sound so different when sung by two different singers.

    When the first version comes with Abhishek Nailwal (who was quite impressive in his rendition of 'Yaara Ve' - Naksha two years back), one isn't much impressed.

    From his full throated rendition of 'Yaara Ve', Abhishek moves on to touch some softer notes in 'Jalte Hain', though without coming up with the desired results. Later in the album, his voice is also heard in the song's 'remix version'.

    However, the moment K.K. comes on the scene with his own version of 'Jalte Hain', the song takes on a different meaning altogether.

    Elevated to a different level by the singer who never fails to impress, 'Jalte Hain' has some poetic lyrics by Amitabh that make it extra special. Watch out for this love song in the film's narrative; it is certainly going to make a lasting impression.

    Finally arrives the English track 'Some Times' which is rendered by prominent Jazz singer Nanette Natal. A kind of number which brings with it just the kind of sound that plays on in background as you have a quite-n-nice dinner with your beloved in an up-market hotel, 'Some Times' has an extremely classy feel to it and should manage to find an audience for itself in the long run, just like Rock On did once the film hit theaters.

    After hearing the songs of Sorry Bhai, what can be said for sure is that filmmaker Onir knows a thing or two about music.

    Case in point being My Brother Nikhil ('Le Chale') followed by Bas Ek Pal ('Tere Bin'). Now he manages to create a hat trick of soulful numbers with each and every track working for Sorry Bhai, and 'Mere Khuda' followed by 'Jalte Hain' standing tall. Go for it!

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    I am game for Bipasha going gay on screen: John Abraham


    While Priyanka Chopra has been practically enjoying one film release a month and Abhishek Bachchan saw the release of Drona and Sarkar Raj this year, for John Abraham it has been quite some wait.

    Last November, his Dhan Dhana Dhan Goal released while this year in the same month, he sees his Dostana arriving at theaters. Practically living out of suitcases while shooting non-stop for his next with Yash Raj Films (tentatively titled New York) and making intermittent visits to Mumbai for shooting and promotion of Dostana, he talks to Joginder Tuteja as his romcom hits the screens.

    Everyone is going ga-ga about the fun fest that Dostana is. How much of fun was it on paper? .
    Believe me, when Dostana was narrated to me by Tarun (Mansukhani), I burst out laughing. I was in splits throughout.

    I said to myself, 'If I am enjoying it so much, my audience too would certainly enjoy it'. Eventually we have managed to achieve what we had set out for.

    That's because we wanted to make a fun film with the foremost consideration that we were not there to make fun of any particular community. The characters were never allowed to look or behave caricaturish. 

    So it was all fun and frolic the moment you guys started working on the film? .
    Absolutely, there is nothing so serious in the storytelling of Dostana. It is a sweet funny film and the movie has stuck on this very brief which was given to all of us.

    Of course there are 3-4 absolutely beautiful moments where you don't quite start laughing uproariously. These are some very sweet and emotional moments. I can distinctly remember one which is between Priyanka and me and also another one between Abhishek and Priyanka. 

    A Dharma Production at it's best?.
    Of course, there are bound to be some beautiful heartwarming moments due to this very fact. But yes, in essence it stays on to be a fun film all the way. 

    The film is just a little over 2 hours and looking at the standards set by Karan Johar films, it is quite short in length (laughs). Dostana is short, absolutely fast moving with not a single moment where it slows down. 

    So who amongst you and Abhishek agreed to be 'the girl' when paired opposite each other in Dostana? .
    (Laughs) Well, we take turns. That's the argument we have in the movie throughout when it comes to being a girlfriend! 

    How about your own girlfriend Bipasha? How did she react to Dostana once you broke the news about the film and the character you play? .
    She couldn't stop laughing after visualizing Abhi and me as a couple. Imagine two 6 feet plus guys faking a romantic relation with each other; it has to be the funniest thing in the world. 

    Bipasha has seen the film and believes that it has to be a super success in the making. She has been very right in her assessment of movies till date. 

    She always tells me then and there if my movie will be successful or not and in case of Dostana, she knows that it would work. 

    Didn't she warn you about No Smoking in that case? .
    She did actually wonder as to why was the film getting such a massive theatrical release. She confided in me that it was a festival film to begin with and should not have come with a commercial tag. Of course, she enjoyed the film and felt that it was a path breaking. 

    Coming back to Bipasha and her liking for Dostana. What if she comes to you tomorrow and says that she is working in a film where she is paired opposite other woman.
    I will be game for it. 

    Which of the Bollywood heroines would you see her to be paired with? 
    Errr, that's a tough one. 

    Just try
    (Blushes) I can't actually think of any women. But yes, I am sure whatever Bipasha would do, she would do it convincingly. 

    Just the way you and Abhishek have done in Dostana?
    (Laughs) Yes, you can say that. And now as the film is out, I hear people are saying just the same. We are the newest romantic 'jodi' in town!
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    May God punish Abhishek for ditching me: Rakhi Sawant




    A bitter and tearful Rakhi Sawant opened her heart and bared her soul to Sam Kumar Shukla about her relationship with Abhishek Awasthi and the recent break up. In between angry and indignant sobs, she expressed the pain that she was going through. She even prayed that God may teach him a lesson. But she didn’t seek revenge. Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned, they say. But Rakhi has left revenge to her God.

    While blaming Abhishek for causing her so much pain, she also spoke well about the alleged new woman in his life – the gorgeous, sexy and glamourous Shradha Sharma. She empathized with Shradha and wished her well. She called her “hot, sexy, ambitious and smart” – not many women would speak well about their ex’s new girl friend. But Rakhi Sawant is Rakhi Sawant and Bollywood will never have another Rakhi Sawant.

    Was the sorrow and concern genuine or the expert manifestation and manipulation of the Drama Queen that she is known to be. Only time will tell.

    Tell us about your Yash Raj movie? What is the kind of role that you play?
    I am really sorry, but my contract forbids me from speaking anything at all about the movie. They have given me a water-tight contract; I can’t breathe a word about it. But I was busy shooting for the last two months for the movie. I shot for almost 40-45 days. I have a substantial role in the movie with Shahid and Rani.

    Your bete noire Sherlyn Chopra is also in the film?
    I think she is doing an item song in that film. I am not sure. I also heard that she has been dropped. I am not sure at all. You must ask Yash Raj about it. I am not her spokesperson or PRO.

    Tell us about your Reality Shows?
    I am doing Yeh hein Jalwa. The first one I won, this is the second season. I am busy shooting for that. I am doing that show with Mika.

    Since you are shooting with Mika you must have a lot of bodyguards around you?
    Yes we both have bodyguards. He has five and I have ten. Because each of his bodyguards equals two of mine in size.

    Tell us something about your break up with Abhishek?
    Yes I have broken off with him. I am now single. And I think I am better off being single.

    So do you have a new man in your life?
    No, No, I don’t want any man in my life unless of course he is ready to marry me. In case I have any one in my life, the first thing I am going to do is ask him if he is ready to marry me immediately. I don’t want to have any more relationships unless it’s for ever and ends in marriage.

    And do you know anything about Abhishek’s new girl friend?
    I do not know much, but I read somewhere that he is having an affair with Shradha Sharma. I knew that they were good friends. Both of them were part of Mika’s dance group. In fact they were even together in Delhi when Shradha was a side dancer. I am surprised that Abhishek is seeing her because I know she cannot be serious about him.

    What do you mean?
    Shradha is a sexy, good-looking girl and Abhishek is not her type. She will use Abhishek and then dump him in the same fashion that Abhishek dumped me. In fact, I wish him all the best if he is dating Shradha. He will get tit-for-tat. He will get from Shradha what he did to me. He ditched me. When I asked him for marriage, he refused to marry me.

    But why are you insisting on marriage with Abhishek? You could have been together for some more time, maybe a few more years?
    Well, we have been together for almost four years now and I felt it was time to get married. I wanted to get serious with him. But he was not willing to marry me.

    So you think Abhishek’s relationship with Shradha will not last?
    Firstly, I am not sure if there is any relationship at all. Shradha is a very ambitious girl. She is also good looking and hot. I don’t think even if they are having an affair it will last very long. Abhishek will be dumped by her very soon. I am surprised to know that they are having an affair. Because I know that Shradha was earlier dating a television actor from the Ekta Kapoor stable. She had a long relationship with him.

    Why do you think your relationship with Abhishek didn’t work out?
    I gave Abhishek my mind, body, soul, money, contacts everything. I bought him a bike as a gift. Helped him financially whenever he needed help. Went out of my way to help him get work and publicity. He would answer all my calls. My personal phone and all my financial details were with him. Yes he was initially very devoted to me, but now he has completely changed. Money and fame have changed him. He was nobody when he came to me. No one knew him. Had you heard his name then? Today every journalist knows Abhishek because of me. Today I have had to block my personal phone number which I was using for the last five years. I don’t want him answering my calls anymore.

    So are you gunning for revenge?
    No. I will not do anything. But I pray that God will teach him a lesson. For me, my revenge will be taken by my God. I hope that Shradha uses him and dumps him. In fact, I will advise her to use him and then dump him. He deserves that. He deserves to be taught a good lesson.

    But Shradha’s Media Manager Flynn Remedios has denied that there is any relationship. He also issued a press statement. What is the truth?
    I do not know about that. But even on 14th Feb, Valentine’s Day, I think Abhishek was meeting some other woman. Knowing Shradha, I don’t think she will fall for Abhishek, but even if there is something going on between them, I pray that Abhishek gets tit-for-tat.


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    Star Diets Revealed: Shilpa Shetty




    Shilpa Shetty: "I don't avoid any food. My calorie intake is about 2000 per day. I don't need that much carbs because I don't do manuel work .Because I work out, I don't cut down on my carbs. So the scale tilts towards high protein.

    I'm a non-vegetarian on every day of the week except Thursdays. My breakfast every day is a bowl of porridge and normal tea. My morning chai is a must. Then I work-out (3-4 times a week). After I return I've a protein shake, two dates and eight black raisins. 

    My lunch at 2.30 pm comprises one roti made of five different kinds of grains that I learnt about at the Oneness camp. Very high-fibre and protein-friendly. And I must have ghee on my roti, can't do without ghee on my roti, vegetables done in refined oil, chicken and daal. 

    Then if I've craving for something sweet I have a kulfi or a chocolate. I've green tea late afternoon and I've lots of hot water throughout the day. I've been addicted to hot water for five years. Evening, I've a flavoured soya milk. 

    Then a chai….no food until dinner, unless I feel hungry then maybe an omelette sandwich. Dinner it at 9.30—lettice salad with promegrenate or apple ..a clear soup. And I avoid roti in the night. I'm a late sleeper. 

    I'm a tv addict. I watch tv till I go into meditation before sleep. Do I feel like a pioneer in physical fitness? I've always been an athlete, my father was national-level sportsperson. My sister Shamita is more into physical fitness."

    Dino Morea: "I go up to 10000 calories a day. I eat a lot. Five meals a day. I am just careful about where and what I eat. That's all. If I'm cutting down on my weight I avoid sugar and excessive carbs and increase the protein intake.

    If I need to bulk up I increase the carb intake. Fruits and vegetables are a must anytime. I don't drink much. Don't smoke at all. Otherwise I just eat what makes me happy.

    Himesh Reshammiya: "I'm following the 1400 calorie diet a day. I've stopped chawal, rotis, breads and sweets completely. I do eat nachni rotis which are very low on calorie When I'm not dieting I eat everything, no restrictions on quantity or intake.

    Neil Nitin Mukesh: "My calorie count would be about 2500 a day. Then I burn out approximately 1, 000 to 11, 00 per day. These days I'm eating steamed fish for both lunch and dinner. 

    I take in approximately 140 grams of proteine. Besides that I avoid carbohydrates and fatty foods as much as possible because there's a tendency to put in weight in my family.

    Manisha Koirala: "I follow a less-carb diet. I take a lot of salads, vegetables and soupls. Plenty of water and no fried food."

    Tusshar Kapoor: "Protein shake with muesli in the morning after work-out . For lunch I take roti, tandoori chicken with vegetables. In the evening I have egg whites. For dinner I follow the same diet as lunch without the roti.

    Sonu Sood:"I start my day with a glass of lukewarm water and some papaya. Then I head to the gym. After that I have an eggwhite omelette with fresh juice. I make sure to have light meals every three hours. 

    I have carbs only in the afternoon. In the evening I take fruits and sprouts. No carbs in the night. Only salads and soups and boiled eggs. But before 8 pm. Calorie count varies. But I keep a serious check on junk food and oily stuff.

    Celina Jaitley: "I eat seven mini meals every day after every two-and-a-half hours.Breakfast is a must. I've lots of fruits and nuts. I also drink 7-8 cups of green tea a day. But no calorie- count because my intake depends on the amount of body-stress per day. 

    My first meal is at 8.30 am. It's two eggwhites boiled, whole wheat toast. Second meal is at 11 am. It's a bowl of whole-wheat museli with milk. The third meal at 1 pm is one chapaati, sabzi and daal.Around 3.30 pm I've coconut water with dry fruits and green tea. 

    At 5.30 pm I've tea, fruits and a smoothie. At around 8 I've my last meal for the day which is steamed fish, soup and salad. In between meals I've one green tea and one full glass of water. I don't drink or smoke.

    Amrita Arora: "I try and eat at least 1800 calories a day. Skimmed milk, fruit, dal, roti, sabzi and fish for lunch. Poha for nashta. Yoghurt at 7 pm. And then dinner –paalak soup, steamed fish, salad.

    Bipasha Basu: "I follow no diet regime at all. I just work out like crazy in the gym and keep on my toes the whole day."

    Aryan Vaid: "I eat healthy. And I don't count calories For breakfast I have protein shake and yoghurt. For lunch I have ten boiled eggwhites, two pieces of bread and some chicken. Plus a small dessert or mithai.

    In the evening I've six eggwhites and a protein shake. Dinner is ten boiled eggwhites chicken and salad. No bread for dinner. Before sleeping I've a protein shake again with yoghurt . This should add up to about 2000 calories. But I don't monitor my calories. I just eat healthy.

    Sophie Chowdhary: "Never counted the calories. I'm a foodie. I just try to eat healthy.. I start the day with ginseng tea, a few soaked almonds, small bowl of papaya and an eggwhite omelette.

    Post-gym I either have a half a protein shake or an apple depending on the time. For lunch I have chicken, daal, sabzi and maximum one roti. At 5 pm I've chai and a handful of nuts or frozen yoghurt or an organic food bar.

    For dinner it's souped and steamed fish or grilled chicken. Lots of green tea throughout the day. And yes I do cheat on my diet twice a week. But don't tell my trainer. Ha ha.

    Riya Sen: "I can't diet! As soon as I think of dieting I start thinking of chocolates. But I'm into controlled eating.

    Every time I'm hungry during the day I eat . But I control the quantity. I'm not over-ambitious about my workouts.

    I've never had a really major weight problem. I hate the over-worked-out look in women. I believe Indian woman look best when they're slightly voluptuous.I love to swim, do light-weights, attend dance classes and I do spinning.

    Tanushree Dutta: "I don't count my calories. But I eat healthy. And my diet keeps changing according to my level of fitness. 

    Nowadays I start my day with cereals with milk and eggs. Then I've 5 small meals throughout the day comprising chicken fish and vegetables. 

    Right now I'm completely off sweets and junk food."
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    Billo Barber


    Cast: Irrfan Khan, Shahrukh Khan, Lara Dutta, Om Puri, Rajpal Yadav, Asrani, Jason Mehta
    Directed by: Priyadarshan

    Billo (Irrfan Khan) is the stubborn village barber who refuses to adapt to new fashions in the hair dressing world.

    One day a film crew, including its superstar Sahil Khan, visits Billo's village to shoot a movie. When the villagers learn that Sahil was Billo's school friend, they give the barber the respect he craves.

    But Billo is also unsure on meeting Sahil. Due to his superstar status he fears the star may not recognise him. After many unsuccessful attempts of getting in touch with Sahil, Billo gives up. He is branded a liar by the villagers and his family.

    But all ends well when Sahil is invited to the village school function. He reveals his past to all present about a close friend he had at school who always stood by him in his hour of need.

    Whether Sahil manages to meet Billo forms the climax of this comedy drama produced by Shah Rukh Khan.

    Billo Barber is a remake of the Malayalam film Kadha Parayumbol and Tamil film, Kuselan. Irrfan Khan plays the lead role, while Shah Rukh Khan only has a minor part.

    Directed by Priyadarshan, the film also features Om Puri, Rajpal Yadav and Asrani in supporting roles. Kareena Kapoor and Deepika Padukone are also said to appear in song and dance numbers with Shah Rukh Khan.
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    Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi


    Have you ever stopped to think if the most ordinary, uninteresting, unobtrusive man you might see on the road or around you might have a love story to tell?

    Maybe not! How can an ordinary man have a breathtaking, goose flesh igniting, awe inspiring love story of all things to tell?

    But guess what - love does not differentiate between the ordinary and exceptional, the uninteresting and interesting, the unattractive and attractive. Because love knows no distinction.

    It can happen to anyone and once it does it engulfs us into it completely and gives us those miraculous experiences that only love can yield.

    This is what happened to Surinder Sahni (Shah Rukh Khan) - a simple, clean hearted, honest man working for Punjab Power, leading a humdrum life, when he meets his total opposite and finds love in the flamboyant, fun-loving, vivacious - Taani (Anushka Sharma) for whom the whole world is her canvas and she paints her own life with the colours of rainbow all until unforeseen circumstances changes it all and brings them together.

    What follows is a journey filled with laughter, tears, joy, pain, music, dance and a lot of love. A journey that makes us believe that there is an extraordinary love story in every ordinary jodi.
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    Dostana - Movie Review


    Starring: Abhishek Bachchan, John Abraham, Priyanka Chopra, Kirron Kher, Boman Irani
    Written & Directed by Tarun Mansukhani
    Rating: ***

    Get this straight. Abhishek Bachchan and John Abraham are not gay. They are just happy pretending to be bed partners. In the endeavour they pull put all stops and get into the gay zone with a gusto that stumps all the moralists.

    There are butt-and-bum jokes galore some even pointed at the leading lady. But hold that frown.

    Auntyji, chill. It's all for fun. Wanna join in?

    The theme of heterosexual characters pretending to be gay to get a precious abode in the bustle of the metropolis is pretty cool.

    Bachchan and Abraham, both in full form, get into the gay groove without going over the top. They come out with flying colours through most of the material that's provided to them to sink their teeth into.

    While John combines terrific body language with some great comic timing (he's come a long way from his thanda GaramMasala days) Abhishek's expressions are a scream in their pitch-perfection.

    One of the most brilliantly-written sequences orchestrates all the characters of this gay-play in the same room.

    There're the play-acting gay protagonists, a gay magazine editor (a flawlessly wimpy Boman Irani), a gay marriage-bureau official (who just decides to drop in for a quick –check) and of course Abhishek's homophobic mother (Kirron Kher) who screams and rants and then accepts her son's apparent sexual preference.

    You could simply marvel at the two principal actors giving so much of heart and others parts to their parts.

    After a point you're tempted to stop counting the number of times the word 'gay' gets in the way of the narrative. From 'Mera beta gay hai' (courtesy Abhishek's mom Kirron Kher) to a 'Han main gay hoon' …. Dostana wins the how-to-say-gay-in-every-which-way award of the year.

    Sandwiched between the two brilliantly-poised heroes is Priyanka Chopra, glowing like a 1000-watt bulb in her immaculate wardrobe (and out of it…she too gets into beachwear, what did you think?).

    So here's the bottom (oops!) line. Hindi cinema finally comes out of the closet. And going by how little John Abraham wears in most of the film. There's very little coming out of the closet.

    But there you have it. Bollywood's first beach-bum-chum meri-dosti-mera-pyar dildo-dil-lo preparation done on that slow-burn state of leisurely cooking where the characters get an ample chance to extend the parameters of the conventional cinema without toppling into the abyss of overstatement.

    First-time writer-director Tarun Mansukhani has the zing thing in his vision. Miami shot with fetching gusto by Aynanka Bose lifts the luscious locales to more than a touristic paradise. The desi characters seem to belong to this beachside paradise.

    Well-toned bodies tanned to the extreme of selfglorification, sinewy movements on the beach and on the dancefloor, songs music and feverish fiesta of sexually- driven people who want it all.And fast. Dostana is the ultimate hedonists' dream.

    The narrative pace slackens considerably in the second-half, what with the heroes expanding their homosexual hijinks into a triangle with Priyanka thrown in for good measure.

    Then the triangle dilates into a quadrangle as Bobby Deol (looking dapper in his Armanis) makes a belated appearance as the boss who first intimidates and irritates the working girl into motion of anger and submission. And then sweeps her off her feet.

    Is this to keep the heterosexuals happy ?

    What keeps the narrative going is the sheer zest for life and the mood of wink-wink wackiness which Shilpa Shetty sets at the outset with her ooh-la-la item song.

    The gags involve everyone from the caricatural and spinsterish landlady (Sushmita Mukherjee) to an incredibly clueless magazine editor (Bobby Deol) who agrees to behave like a moron on the our pseudo-gay heroes' say-so.

    It's all in fun. Not to be taken seriously. Not even when Abhishek and John lip-lock in mock-ecstacy for a climatic farewell kiss that certainly leaves Priyanka breathless.

    I'm still trying to figure out why Abhishek is inspired to act gay with John while holding a hotdog in his hand. Is there a hidden code there?

    As for the audience, it's still counting the number of times the characters say 'gay'. Every which way.
    For Gossips And Mirch Masala Log On To Bollywood Paradize

    john and Katrina sharing cold vibes


    John Abraham is in no hurry either. Several actors have gone ahead and signed multiple film deals with major corporate houses at astronomical prices, but John has decided to go slow. "I am not in a hurry really, " John tells me.

    Seriously, doesn't he get insecure when he reads that an 'x' actor has signed a Rs. 60 crore deal or 'y' getting into a 3-film contract for a humungous figure? Doesn't he want to be a part of this rat race? "Believe me, I have never felt insecure. And I don't believe in signing 3 or 4-film deals, even if the money is lucrative. You need to draw a line somewhere, " John states.

    While AASHAYEIN is already complete (slated for release early next year), followed by Yash Raj's NEW YORK (directed by Kabeer Khan), John will begin work on Abbas Tyrewala's film. "I want to take a break once I am through with Abbas' film. I've been living out of my suitcase for a while now. I need to relax, " he states.

    The media was agog with rumours of John and Katrina sharing cold vibes while shooting for NEW YORK in America. If true, doesn't it hamper the quality of work? "Yes, it does! But Katrina and I are thorough professionals. It's completely false that we didn't get along, I don't know how this originated, " he clarifies.

    What about Bipasha? Is there a possibility of the much-in-news couple featuring in a film together? "I'd love to work with Bipasha. 

    I loved her performances in RACE as also BACHNA AE HASEENO. Bipasha was gracious enough to work with me when I was nobody (JISM). It would be an honour if I get an opportunity of working with her again, " he states.
    For Gossips And Mirch Masala Log On To Bollywood Paradize

    KATRINA KAIF HOMESICK IN NEW YORK


    Katrina Kaif is currently shooting in New York with John Abraham and Neil Nitin Mukesh for Kabir Khan's next venture, but she isn't too happy being away from home and family.

    "My professional commitments keep me busy, but I'm feeling homesick. I miss my family a lot. I miss my home," said Katrina, who has been shooting for "New York" for over two months.

    The actress is, however, keeping content with plans for a Christmas reunion with her family.

    "I am trying my best to see if we can all be together. I hope no professional work comes up then. I am keeping my fingers crossed," she said.

    Katrina was seen in this year's biggest hit "Singh Is Kinng".
    For Gossips And Mirch Masala Log On To Bollywood Paradize

    MUGDHA GODSE TOPS ONLINE POLL FOR MOST POPULAR ACTRESS


    Former supermodel Mugdha Godse, who debuted in Madhur Bhandarkar's "Fashion", has topped an online poll as the most popular actress in Bollywood now.

    To everyone's surprise, Mugdha left behind leading actresses like Aishwarya Rai, Katrina Kaif and Kareena Kapoor and topped the charts with a whopping 1,600 hits in the live poll conducted by Buzz18.com, the online entertainment wing of the Web18 network group.

    The newcomer earned rave reviews for her performance as Janet Sequeira in "Fashion", which also featured Priyanka Chopra, Kangana Ranaut, Arbaaz Khan and Arjan Bajwa.
    For Gossips And Mirch Masala Log On To Bollywood Paradize

    AKSHAY KUMAR HAS IMPRESSED SALLU


    Bollywood star Salamn Khan seems to be quite impressed with his colleague Akshay Kumar's growth as an actor over the years.

    On being asked who has impressed him by his acting skills in the recent past, Salman said: "Akshay has impressed me by his acting skills in the recent past. I think he (Akshay) is the only actor who has really grown as an actor."

    Salman was speaking to reporters on Monday at the promotional event of his forthcoming release "Yuvvraaj", which also stars Anil Kapoor, Katrina Kaif and Zayed Khan.

    About the film, he said: "It is about brothers played by Anil, Zayed and me. The film is about the manipulations of the brothers to get the ancestral property. I play the second brother Deven, who tries to get a part of his ancestral property to fulfil the conditions laid down by his to-be father-in-law to marry his daughter (Katrina Kaif)."

    Salman has teamed up with director-producer Subhash Ghai for the first time for the film. He said that Ghai had approached him earlier too.

    "Subhashji had approached me before, but I did not accept the offer because I thought I could not do justice to the roles. But, I accepted this film because it is the story of three brothers and I could relate to the emotions."
    For Gossips And Mirch Masala Log On To Bollywood Paradize

    Back with Kat, Sallu tells how SRK stabbed him in back


    Rumour has it that director Subhash Ghai is planning to remake his 80s big hit 'Hero' and he wants none other than Salman Khan for the lead role.

    A close source has said, "Yes, Subhash ji is planning to remake 'Hero' and has already thought about the actors. Salman Khan and Katrina Kaif are his first choice of lead role. 

    Salman will play Jackie Shroff and Katrina the role of Meenakshi Sheshadri.The new 'Hero' will be different from the original and will be made for the audience now and will be an up-to-date version. 

    Subhash ji is planning to shoot the film after 'Yuvvraaj' releases at an overseas location and hopes to complete it within 90 days, so that he can release it for end of 2009."

    Salman Khan himself has also reportedly talked about it, "I had heard two three scripts before 'Yuvvraaj'. The scripts were good but I couldn't play those characters. I wanted him to make 'Hero' with me but Subhash ji said we would make it later. Then he came up with 'Yuvvraaj'."

    On a similar note, Sallu displayed a different kind of heroism when he talked about his hurt over SRK's behaviour. 

    He' said in a tell-all interview, "As soon as Shah Rukh left the party, he started calling up the media!

    I didn't speak till one week after the fight because he was trying to put me in the middle of something which is not cool from any angle! That is the time I stood up and started speaking. There is no reason for disrespect.

    Everybody messes up. I have messed up also not once but so many times, without any malice, any manipulation or agenda. If things go wrong between two buddies we say 'okay buddy let's hang out together and sort it out' but if you are going to mess up and disrespect me then forget it, " 

    He's added, "The right side of my head is my heart. I will always do what is right. I am human man! I am trying to be human. 

    I have lots of flaws but I am taking care of that. But there are some things I don't have jealousy, incompetence, insecurity and maliciousness. I don't have a temper either, though I may get angry. And if I am wrong, I have the courage to call up and apologise.

    Say sorry and I am fine. What I say is what I do. I don't say something and do something else and think of something totally different."

    Now after hearing his side of the story straight from the heart, one would in need have to say that this one's a real here, one of a kind in B-Town! -
    For Gossips And Mirch Masala Log On To Bollywood Paradize

    Pataudi gets to meet its Bahu, Kareena!!!





    Kareena Kapoor is all set to take her relationship with Saif to another level. She'll be visiting his ancestral village Pataudi in Haryana. A privilege that none of Saif ladies from the past have been given.

    Confesses Saif, "Yes, Kareena has been invited to Pataudi. It'd have been earlier. But it's too hot right now. Winter is when our family reunions happen every year. And Kareena is now part of the family. My parents are extremely fond of Kareena."

    Sighs Saif, "This relationship is 'IT' for me. Today I feel very settled and very happy. Though a bit lonely. And when I've bad days I feel I'm being ungrateful. I'm now looking forward to settling down with Kareena.

    Our marriage will happen very shortly as soon as we both have a little less work on hand and we can give the marriage quality time. Also, her family has to be ready for our marriage." 

    Saif is very happy with Kareena's mom. "We're very close. She has been really gracious in inviting me into her family. 

    She's made sure I'm part of her family. I've also met Daboo Uncle a few times, shared friendly drinks with her. As for Karisma, I think she's the sweetest girl ever in the world. I'm deeply fond of both Karisma and her husband Sanjay. They're truly wonderful people. Kareena's family has taken to me as warmly as my family has taken to her."

    Saif has a lot to be thankful for. "My lifestyle has changed completely after the heart attack. Looking back it's hard to believe I went through such a health scare.

    If it wasn't for that life-changing experience I wouldn't be in a relationship with Kareena right now. I hardly drink. Don't even look forward to drinking any more. I don't smoke or party."

    All because of love.
    For Gossips And Mirch Masala Log On To Bollywood Paradize

    I wasn't competing with Shilpa: Priyanka


    Shilpa Shetty is enjoying all the 'oohs' and 'aahs' from the audience with her sexy act in 'Shut Up and Bounce' number from Dostana. However, Priyanka Chopra is not loosing any sleep with the popularity of the song and the item girl in it, especially since she has her own 'Desi Girl' to cheer about.

    "In any case, I wasn't competing with Shilpa Shetty in Dostana. Of course 'Desi Girl' is fantastic but so is 'Shut Up and Bounce'. I knew about the song placement from the very beginning", says Priyanka Chopra who is getting quite some accolades coming her way after Fashion and now Dostana.

    But didn't she ever wish that she could have bagged 'Shut Up and Bounce' as well? 

    "Well, I have the remaining five songs in the film to my name so no regrets with one song featuring someone else", smiles Priyanka, "Also, the song's placement was such that it required introducing the beach life of Miami to the audience at the very beginning of the film. Now since I make an appearance a little later, it wouldn't have made sense for the song to be picturised on me."

    What does she feel about Shilpa Shetty fitting the bill eventually?

    "Absolutely the right choice", Priyanka doesn't blink an eyelid here, "For a vibrant city like Miami, it was absolutely essential to have a female with a great body and who better than Shilpa to do the honors. 

    This composition by Vishal and Shekhar absolutely rocks and the way Tarun Mansukhani, the film's director, has got it on screen is just perfect. I am very happy with the final result and glad that it is being noticed and becoming so popular with the audience. It only helps the film."
    For Gossips And Mirch Masala Log On To Bollywood Paradize

    Vivek is an idiot but who is SRK: Salman Khan


    Salman Khan is in no mood to make peace with his enemies. 

    Of late he's been giving a lot of honest answers. So honest, that it can very well become very hard for the rest to handle! 

    A couple of years back when he was angry with John Abraham, he'd shockingly said, "Who's John Abraham?" 

    Now he's busy making his displeasure evident about SRK. 

    In a recent interview with a foreign magazine he's asked, "Who's SRK? I have never heard about him before." 

    Well, his remarks on actor Vivek Oberoi were even harsher. 

    He's said, "Vivek Oberoi is merely a guy who likes to stand next to celebrities for photographers to click at him. I would just call him an idiot"

    Sallu is in no mood to forgive and forget. After all VO did offend him big time some five years ago because of a certain Miss Ash.

    But then the guy still has nothing to say against ex love Ash or her family. 

    He's said, "I am friendlier with the Bachchan family. I have paired up with Amitabh Bachchan for a couple of films and a flick with Abhishek Bachchan. They are good performers on the screen and it was nice working with them". 

    This one sure seems to be a brutally honest guy!
    For Gossips And Mirch Masala Log On To Bollywood Paradize

    Jaya loved Abhishek's gay turn

    Karan Johar had a screening for the cast and crew of Tarun Mansukhani's Dostana at Yash Raj Studios on Tuesday night. The Bachchan family turned up in full force Amitabh, Jaya, Aishwarya, and Abhishek himself.Also present were Bobby and Tania Deol, make-up guru, Mickey Contractor, Farah Khan and designers Aki Narula and Manish Malhotra. Though Ritiesh Deshmukh is not a part of the film he was invited as Karan's guest.Abhishek Bachchan says, "Yes I saw Dostana on Tuesday night and loved it. My family loved it as well."Even thought the film has her son playing a gay character, mom Jaya Bachchan apparently thoroughly enjoyed watching Dostana. Abhishek confirms, "Mom loved it! Her reaction was one thing we were all panicky about as mom doesn't like very many films and she's very straightforward about her reactions. Mom, dad and Aishwarya were laughing throughout they all adored the film!"KJo held another trial last night for close friends like Shah Rukh and his other friends from the fraternity.

    Rossy War y Ana Kohler: Lista Negra de Fujimoristas parte 1

    ... la lista negra de Chollywood (parte 1)

    Rossy War
    Rossy War

    Vladimiro MontesinosHace 10 años empezó a orquestarse un muy bien calculado plan del gobierno fujimontesinista que tenía por objetivo convertir en serviles lacayos a las más reconocidas figuras de la farándula local, el deporte y el periodismo. La dictadura se valió de personajes, en su mayoría populares, que contaban con credibilidad, prestigio y cierto grado de influencia en el público peruano. En resumen, sucias lacras que se dejaron comprar con el dinero de todos los peruanos. La lista es larga y de lo más variopinta: el pseudocómico Carlos Alvarez (quizás el más repudiable de todos los casos), Nicolás Lucar (a quien pronto ajusticiaremos con sogas, gasolina y lampas), las viejas de mierda del programa (in)Utilísimas: Meche Solaeche, Mirtha Vergara y Carmen Velasco, el desaparecido Rubén García (en su lecho de muerte argumentó que el fin justificaba los medios), el cocinero Don Pedrito, Alamo Pérez Luna, Raúl Romero, Alvaro Maguiña, el coquerazo de Efraín Trelles, Laura Bozzo, Martha Sofía Salazar, Ana Kohler, Enrique Vidal, Rosa María Palacios, Ernesto Pimentel, Rosa Elvira Cartagena, Pilar Higashi, Rossy War, Tulio Loza, Jesús Miguel Calderón entre muchos otros miserables del periodismo y la farándula, algunos de los cuales -de manera cínica y desvergonzada- continúan en su burdo empeño de hacerle olvidar a la opinión pública su servil y cochino pasado adoptando hoy una conveniente postura crítica al ex gobierno fujimontesinista, muy contraria al penoso accionar que tuvieron hace menos de una década, en épocas en que tenían bien bajados los pantalones (y los calzones) mientras observaban con pasividad e indiferencia como muchos peruanos nos volcábamos a las calles a protestar por la descarada manipulación de los medios, la evidente corrupción de los poderes del Estado, los tránsfugas, el SIN, la prensa amarillista que difamaba vilmente a la oposición, las cortinas de humo, los abusos y atropellos de la dictadura, y por sobre todo, la ilegal re-reelección, algo que cada miembro de esta infame lista apañó con total venia y complacencia al son de la rica technocumbia. Todos estos pusilánimes vendieron su conciencia de la manera más vergonzosa y asquerosa, por conveniencia y un plato de frejoles. La lista de estos cobardes es extensa, y prometo que cada caso se detallará a su debido momento en este vulgar espacio (ex) masturbatorio. Es así como damos inicio en Crónicas de la Farándula Kitsch a una serie de posts que tienen por finalidad refrescarle la memoria al lector pajero.

    1. Rossy War y Ana Kohler - Soundtrack
    Aunque no pertenezcan a la misma calaña de Nicolás Lúcar, Carlos Alvarez, Efraín Trelles o Laura Bozzo, vamos a iniciar nuestra lista negra con este par de remedo de cantantes: Rossy War (nombre artístico de Rosa Guerra Morales) y Ana Kohler, a quienes he elegido para esta primera entrega porque, como aficionado a la música que soy, suelo asociar frecuentemente canciones con situaciones.

    Rossy WarRossy War, mejor conocida en el ambiente del espectáculo como "La Ronquita de la Technocumbia", era (sigue siendo) una enana chabacana con poses de diva (ver video Recargados de Risa) que tuvo su cuarto de hora de fama a fines de la década pasada. Gracias a su gran arraigo popular fue reclutada por el fujimorismo para respaldar la campaña de la ilícita re-reeleción, debutando en las filas del oficialismo como invitada de honor en el mitin de cumpleaños de Alberto Fujimori el 27 de julio de 1999 en el parque zonal Huayna Cápac de San Juan de Miraflores, evento que congregó a más de 12,000 almas perdidas. El clímax de la gala llegó cuando la fenecida estrella de la technocumbia presentó en calidad de primicia la canción titulada "Perú, país con futuro", una supuesta composición de su autoría que, según se empeñó en aclarar insistentemente, coincidía "de pura casualidad" con el eslogan fujimorista de aquel entonces. Ni su madre le creyó. A partir de ese día, Rossy War se pondría al servicio de la campaña proselitista de Fujimori, fungiendo de telonera barata en los mítines que el ex presidente ofrecía en los distintos puntos del país. El discurso político fue reemplazado por música para el pueblo, y a volumen alto, para terminar de ensordecer a quienes se negaban a escuchar las graves denuncias contra el régimen. Felizmente, y gracias al escándalo que ocasionó el posterior derrumbe de la dictadura en la segunda mitad del año 2000, Rossy War desapareció del mapa por 8 largos años. Muchos de sus fans no le perdonan el hecho de haber sido uno de los rostros más representativos de esa asquerosa campaña. "Vendida", le gritaban a menudo por las calles. La vergüenza le duró, pero no tanto: para nuestro pesar hoy está de vuelta y amenaza con volver a tomar las radios del país.


    Rossy War en "El Identikit" (programa Recargados de Risa)

    Ana KohlerAna Kohler era una charapa medio hocicona que por el año 2000 lideraba un grupo de technocumbia llamado Euforia, uno de los más populares y exitosos del país. Cuando la música chicha empezó a ser usada como arma psicosocial, Ana Kohler pasó a integrar la planilla de la corrupción como agitadora de masas. Basta chequear cualquier video de esa inmunda campaña para darse de palmo con ella: shortcito negro, ombligo al descubierto, bailecito con las piernas abiertas como si quisiera poner un huevo; basta prestar un poco de atención a la banda sonora para poder escuchar su voz. Su canción "El Ritmo del Chino" fue el himno -y símbolo máximo por excelencia- de la campaña re-reeleccionista del dictador Alberto Fujimori. Todos los peces gordos sucumbieron -en vivo y en cadena nacional- ante esta pegajosa melodía tropicalona: Fujimori, Pancho Tudela, Sarabá, Absalón Vasquez, Espichán Tu May, Martha Chavez, la momia Cuculiza, la ballena Keiko, Kenyi, Luz Salgado, Carlos Raffo, Carmen Lozada, Victor Joy Way... y siguen nombres. Cada uno de ellos cometió la indecencia de bailar "El Ritmo del Chino" al menos una vez en algún mitin, y para no redondear el papelón con improvisados movimientos de cadera aparecía la mismísima Ana Kohler dispuesta a mostrarles el camino. La presencia de Ana Kohler se volvió tan rutinaria en las concentraciones masivas al punto que cada 5 frases interrumpía al presidente-candidato para gritar a voz en cuello la parte más reconocible de su canción: "¡Chino, chino! ¡Chino-chino!-chino!" mientras bailaba frenéticamente en medio de una torrencial lluvia de pica-pica. A raíz de la caida de la dictadura Ana Kohler se exilió en Miami, según ella por razones de seguridad, y nunca más volvió al Perú a dar la cara. Hoy brinda esporádicas actuaciones para los peruanos residentes en Estados Unidos. Ojalá se la cache un burro.


    Ana Kohler - El Ritmo del Chino


    A continuación, Rossy War y la versión cumbiambera de "Un día sin ti", canción original del dúo sueco Roxette y crossover a la vez del recordado éxito "Spending my time".
    Aunque es un hecho que no, me gustaría creer que la versión chicha de "Un día sin ti" se trata de un caso de plagio, y que el día de mañana la disquera EMI se tomará la molestia de clavarle una demanda millonaria a esa pareja de mequetrefes conformada por Rossy War y Tito Mauri, hecho que acabará por dejarlos a ambos en la puta calle, lugar de donde nunca debieron salir. Y así jamás volveremos a saber de este inmundo par que un mal día decidió vender su arte en aras del continuismo de la corrupción. Amén.


    Rossy War - Un día sin ti


    Bonus Track
    Concierto de Roxette en Lima, colegio Roosevelt, 15000 asistentes. 05/set/95.


    Roxette - Spending my time (1995, concierto en Lima - Perú)


    Próximo capítulo: Carlos Alvarez

    video cancion rossy+war un+dia+sin+ti roxette spending+my+time cumbia technocumbia tecnocumbia tito+mauri chicha musica